John Fedorka

Book Three of The Last Elf Series, A Knight’s Loyalty, is now available in paperback. Click on the cover, or click here to purchase your copy.

Resolute in his rejection of his prophesied destiny, Chork resumes his quest for knighthood. With his dire wolves Maul and Dirk, The Last Born departs from the free town of Donham. Leaving behind his best friend Elvenhawk, Chork makes for Gunter’s Island, home to the Order of the Knights of the Lily, half a world away.

During this leg of his journey, The Last Born encounters other Hummingbird Wizards, bonds more last-born elves, and faces the greatest challenge to his chosen path – Elven Prince Ellessar of the Blue Leafs.

Meanwhile, the kingdoms of Brehm begin to crumble as Emperor Rhince’s plans take root. Civil war erupts in Giran. A religious schism arises in Goole. A plague of the undead assails Donham. Kidnappings and assassinations beset Monck. Mysterious invaders appear in The Bog, home of the Swamp Elves. An impending alliance between orcs and bugbears threatens the Elven Forest.

A Knight’s Loyalty, the third book in The Last Elf Series, continues the coming-of-age tale of Chork, the last elf born in the fantasy world of Brehm – a land of magic and ancient and young races unaware of the schemes of an evil sorcerer bent on “dominion over every drop of water, every speck of dust, every seed, and every life.”

After much delay, A Knight’s Loyalty, Book 3 of The Last Elf Series, is now available.

Yes, this book was a bear to produce.

Originally planned at 78 chapters with more than 110k words, it underwent multiple changes to plot points, characterizations, structure, and pacing. These changes (many suggested by my contributing editor, a few instigated by me) reduced the length to 65 chapters with ~98k words. Much of the removed storyline will appear in Book 4, tentatively entitled The White Lily (more on that in another post).

I must also confess that during the rewrites of A Knight’s Loyalty I undertook three other projects – editing the work of a first-time novelist, drafting a series of short stories which will appear as companion pieces to The Last Elf Series, and working on my stand-alone horror novel. Though these projects inordinately delayed the completion of A Knight’ Loyalty, they also taught me much about my own writing and will influence future work. (Again, I’ll provide more information about all three of these projects in future posts).

Of course, none of this provides a satisfactory excuse for the delays in bringing A Knight’s Loyalty to publication.

I sincerely apologize to the readers who expected this work to appear in the spring of this year.

Without further delay, you can find the third part of Chork’s story here.

The first rewrite of A Knight’s Loyalty, Book 3 in The Last Elf Series, is in the editor’s hands!

What’s that mean? We’re edging closer to release time!

What’s left to do? A final rewrite, a final edit, legible maps, polished front and back matter, a finished cover, and formatting for e-book and paperback.

Sounds like a lot to do. But many of those things get done simultaneously by a handful of doers.

When will it be out? Ah, there’s the rub.

I’ve taken on another project. My best friend has asked me to review his first manuscript. Finally, those 20+ years spent as an editor and a communications manager may be put to some use in my twilight years.

Though I haven’t received permission to tell you much about it, I can say his story’s genre is epic fantasy, its plot is finely crafted, and the world in which it’s set is creative and intriguing. Though his website is not yet up and running, you can learn more about him and his story here.

Meanwhile, enjoy a partial sneak peek of Cody Sams’ Blue Leaf artwork for the cover of A Knight’s Loyalty.

Well, as usual, I’m behind schedule.

I wanted Book 3, now titled A Knight’s Loyalty, to publish in mid-to-late spring. Yet, here we are enjoying our triple digit summer weather of 2019 in San Antonio, and I’m still slogging away with the 1^st Rewrite.

For me, rewriting follows marketing as the second of the most difficult tasks in producing a book.

Why? Motivation and process.

Motivation, first.

Drafts are polished and re-polished versions of your original story; wherein, the author reads a sentence, paragraph, or chapter and says, ‘I can make that much better.’ These shinier and prettier versions are internally motivated by the writer’s muse and self-established standards.

However, rewrites are almost exclusively motivated from ‘outside’.

Some authors use family or friends to get this ‘external’ review. Others use ‘professional’ beta readers. And some use professional editors. While others use all three.

For integrity’s sake, I confess I do use family first – my wife, whom I do not consider an outsider. (That may get me a hug!) She is my sole beta reader. She dislikes my genre but reads the novel piecemeal. Think of it as a themed, patchwork quilt. As I produce a patch, she always truthfully answers three basic questions about each patch: Does this make sense? Does this flow? How does this make you feel?

If she answers ‘No’ to either of the first two and/or ‘Nothing’ to the third, I am disappointed with my effort and begin an immediate rewrite of that patch.

I also use a contributing editor. This means he has acquired ‘a whole lot of knowledge about a whole lot of things’ – the least of which is where to place commas. For my chosen genre (epic fantasy), he must have complete knowledge of the story’s plot and sub-plots, an intimacy with the characters and their roles, and a working familiarity with the magic system and the world’s geography and inhabitants. If he doesn’t know squat about a written specific task performed by a character – e.g., stringing a Mongolian-type bow – he must know where to obtain that knowledge and master it before evaluating the accuracy and believability of that single passage.

And, he’s not just evaluating the individual patches, but the entire quilt, the matching pillow shams, the bolster, the carpeting, and the drapes. In writer’s parlance, that means he reviews plot and character arcs, realism and believability, pace and consistency, and accuracy and readability. Then, he must compare this new quilt (novel) to the two previously made quilts (novels) and review the consistency and …

Well, you get the dealio. He undertakes this herculean task, and in a few weeks, he says, “Nope, you can’t publish this. In detail, here’s why.”

When you hear that from an ‘outsider’, you are beyond crushed. That first sentence sounds like a death knell. The bell’s tolling for you and your drivel, old boy.  It can make you ignore the second sentence.

Of course, that second sentence is what you pay for – the roadmap to a rewrite that makes your quilt sellable.

Process, second.

You would be wrong if you thought this process was this simple: author submits polished draft -> editor reads draft -> editor returns draft marked up with suggestions and corrections -> author begrudgingly makes some changes and ‘tweaks’ -> book is published.

Using my third book to illustrate why it’s not that easy, consider this:

As a result of my editor’s suggestions, I’ve cut 13 chapters from the finished draft. He also recommended I eliminate several data dumps to improve the pacing. Some of these cuts have been absorbed by remaining chapters while others have been pushed into the next book in the series. A few have been put in storage, maybe for future use or for inspiration. Many will never grace the reader’s eye.

Excising chunks of narrative and dialogue is not a simple matter.

In many cases, the removals adversely affect the preceding and following sentences, paragraphs, and chapters. New segues must be crafted to maintain continuity, rhythm, chronology, logic, and pacing.

Author: “B-but this paragraph is critical to my character’s feelings!”

Editor: “Use this word instead.”

Author: “T-this chapter updates the reader …”

Editor: “Use this phrase in the character’s ensuing chapter.”

What you are really doing is remaking the quilt with fewer and better looking patches. To make it more traumatic, you are following an outsider’s pattern to do so.

Yet, when you’re done, somehow, someway, you’re looking at the exact quilt you originally meant to craft. And it matches everything else in room.

said my editor as he joined me at the Flying Saucer on Thursday afternoon.

Of course, my eyebrows climbed up my forehead and my heart skipped at least one beat, maybe two.

He placed his cigar case, mobile phone, and half a dozen printed beer chits on the table between us. With a chuckle, he produced a flash drive which held his review of Book 3 and said, “Before I forget, put this in a safe pocket. It’s not two volumes and 400 pages with footnotes and redactions.”

I replied with the obligatory short laugh at our inside joke, stuffed the drive into my jeans’ pocket, and shot him a quizzical look.

“The battle at the end,” he prodded, forcing me to abandon thoughts of fame and fortune. He examined the chits and, with a soft grin, selected the first of three beers he would enjoy over the next four hours.

His grin became a scold. “The visuals are great, but you went Hollywood on me. No armored knight would spur his mount to leap over a line of armed defenders and expect to survive.” He mimicked jabbing a spear or sword overhead into the belly of a flying horse.

“And I thought Sabrine was one of the good guys. Did you intend to make her act so evil? At best, the general would clap her in irons, or at worst, yank the sword from her hand and run her through. She’s not his queen. Why would he stand for her bullying?”

“Your title doesn’t fit. The attempted gathering is but a small part of what the book is about.  Its failure seems inconsequential.  It appears only in one scene. You then watered down the impact of it ‘failing’ with all that came after that scene. Unless, of course, you …”

Thus, the first rewrite of Book 3 begins.

First, without the relief provided by lignocaine, the author shall extract the rotting molars of Hollywood tripe, TV garbage, and literary trope from the manuscript’s maw.

Second, upon completion of proper research using accepted and bona fide resources, the author shall implant new dentures composed of common sense and reality.

Third, the author shall kill his ‘little darlings’, reduce ‘info dumps’ to a terse phrase or two, repair plot holes, redirect wayward character behavior, realign ‘inter-book inconsistencies’, and restore logical flow to narration and dialogue.

And last, the author shall wholly remove the designated chapters and re-order the remaining chapters as specified to reflect the originally intended story line, thus saving the title “The Gathering Fails.”

Were the four hours complete torture?

No. Not by a long shot. Comments like these were bestowed:

• “Chapter 10:  You do a great job of painting Donty’s view of Valisa, of their interplay.”
• “Chapter 11: Another one where you do a great job with what you do …”
• “I love when Dexter says, ‘It’s not him.’”
• “Absolutely love where the plot is going …”

He then turned the discussion to a suggestion he had made a while back – Take some of the removed chapters and character ‘info dumps’ and turn them into short stories. Publish them individually or as a companion volume or both to further marketing efforts for your epic story.

As the sun set, as the craft beer and Shatayir’s tasty cuisine graced the table, I began to feel as if I were Chork at an inn on the road to Gunter’s Island. Across the table sat a hummingbird mage – a wizard who smokes cigars and knows things – a friend who tells you that you have wandered from your intended path – a true friend who guides your return to, not the easiest but, the correct road – a best friend who makes the arduous journey to published author more fun.

Get yourself a hummingbird wizard, the best available to you and your situation.

And don’t go Hollywood on him or her.

I’ve updated the on-line glossary to include the principal characters and locations mentioned in the soon-to-be published Book 3 – The Gathering Fails and made some minor corrections where they were needed.

I’ve also made one critically important change. The last-born elf of Goneska has changed his name. Previously known as Maccabee Damario Rockshard, this mountain elf is now Dexter Rockshard.

Why and how? Well, for several reasons.

As many of you know, my characters are based upon people I have known and met through my life – family, friends, personal and professional acquaintances. As some of you suspect, the members of the Blue Leafs are a special sub-set of those people. They all come from a specific time and place, an especially difficult time when their friendship and an MMORPG saved my sanity and saw me through some very emotional crises. In effect, the real Blue Leafs became a second family.

One of these friends was named ‘Mighty Dex’ which he derived from traits he assigned to his online character. For a time, we called him ‘MD’ as it was quicker to type. Inevitably, it devolved to ‘Doc’.

I wanted to pull that nickname into my story but ran into several issues; the chief of which is the term ‘medical doctor’. That term made no sense in my fantasy world. Also, in game and in real life, Mighty Dex was not a dedicated practitioner of the healing arts.

My editor and I discussed what I should do. I nixed his idea of using ‘Dexter’ because I was caught up in the TV series and the name carried baggage. (We even discussed the phonetic spelling ‘Emdee’ as the character’s name). In the end, he grudgingly allowed me to make up a difficult and lengthy name which I could then abbreviate to MD.

I wasn’t completely satisfied, but I learned to live with it … for a while.

Now, you need to know three more things. First, the original, real MD would wake up an hour early every single day and log onto that MMORPG to play for exactly one hour. Second, he was with me online when the game was brought to a very emotional end. And third, my younger daughter works with children on the ASD spectrum.

The collision was inevitable.

As I fleshed out the literary character under my daughter’s (and her co-workers’) tutelage, his behavior took on characteristics identified as on the ASD spectrum.

Suddenly, the name ‘Dexter’ dropped its old baggage and brought a smile to my face and to my heart.

(Spoiler alert) – It also modified the ending of The Last Elf series.

Saturday night, I attended the birthday party of a good friend and a supporter of my work. Yes, I had a very good time but there came a humbling moment late in the evening. It happened unexpectedly, as most of these moments do, and left me with (as my older daughter would say) “some good and bad feels.”

What happened?

This wonderful birthday woman, a true lady in all respects, introduced me to some of her guests as a published author. As the good people they are, their immediate responses were complimentary and bespoke the automatic reverence many of us hold for the authorship of any completed and published book.

At first, I thought these compliments were the ‘good feels’ I wanted and deserved – pride of recognition, pride of accomplishment, pride of the acknowledgement of the hard work, focus, and dedication of completing not only 1 but 2 books with a 3^rd on the editor’s desk, and more, in other genres, to follow. But then, right in the middle of this ‘feel-good moment,’ I inexplicably found my tongue tied and stumbled along for a few minutes until, fortunately, we were called to sing ‘Happy Birthday’.

I spent most of yesterday revisiting this moment.

Why did I run to hide behind the curtain when the spotlight shined on me?

The epiphany struck when I recalled a passage I myself had written in Book One – The Last Born. Ever intent on teaching Chork the virtues of knighthood, Dame Pogi says to the elf,

“Humility teaches us that pride is both a vice and a virtue, like two sides of the same coin. A vice, when you strut like a peacock for no good reason. A virtue, when temperance and truthfulness are applied.”

Integrity, first.

The real ‘good feels’ came the moment when temperance and truthfulness had stepped forward and had stayed my tongue.

The ‘bad feels’ moment came the next day when I realized I should have voiced to those good people what I was thinking – “I deserve little credit for I can do so much better. I owe it to you as readers, to my friend who already sings my praises, and to me.”

Thank you, good friend. I came to celebrate your birthday and received two wonderful presents – a proper dose of humility and a large helping of inspiration.

Integrity, first.

Writing this post is arrogant. At least, that’s how I feel as my fingers rest on the home row of the keyboard.

I am no great novelist. I may never get there, or even close to it. But I won’t stop trying. It’s that one regret I do not want to face on my death bed. “He was a lousy writer.” But at least I tried.

I’ve been told that what I am about to reveal (as if it’s some great secret) is precisely what readers and other budding authors want to know. They ask: “How many iterations were there before you published? How many drafts? How many edits? Are you a planner or a ‘pantser’? Why does it take so long between books? Where did the idea for your story come from? Why did you choose this genre? Isn’t is just about you? Aren’t you just doing it for the money?”

To answer these and other questions and, hopefully, to inspire those who fear that same death-bed regret, I offer this first post in a series about writing books in The Last Elf series.

You should know that I sort of subscribe to Stephen King’s writing process – the first draft is you telling yourself the story; the second draft is you telling the reader the story. Yes, sometimes I do mix the two. (Mea Culpa, Mr. King. Every writer has his or her own quirks.)

I’ve already told myself the entire story in detailed outlines, storyboards, time lines, character and realm arcs, and countless notes (ranging in length from single phrases to pages of prose and dialogue). In other words, if you somehow could organize the charts, graphs, index cards, Word files, notebooks, and reams of yellowing copy paper into their proper order, you too would know The Last Elf story from word one to the final period. This is what Mr. King might call the first draft – me telling myself the story.

The fact that I did this, I’m told, makes me a ‘planner.’

Also, that makes what I call the ‘first draft’ (on my website and when talking to others) the first draft of the second draft – or, more concisely – the first draft of me telling you the story.

The second draft immediately follows the first. This is a rewrite. I add and subtract bits and pieces, change wording to assuage my inner voice’s rhythm and reasoning, align flawed character behavior, and triple check time lines. I also repeatedly run spell and grammar checks and exhaustively review the consistency of terms, name usage, and titles. Usually, I remove as many of those ‘pungent literary meanderings which bespeak my artistry and mastery of the language’ as my ego allows.

Only when I deem that this draft is the best it can be, do I send it to my editor.

This is the most emotional period in the book’s creation. It’s like giving your first born to a babysitter and leaving for a full year abroad. You place a year’s worth of effort into the hands of someone else and say, “Here’s the best I can do, and you’ll think so too.”

He disagrees. Always. He delineates, in minute detail and without a dollop of mercy, the what, when, where, and why.

Recall the babysitter metaphor above? Imagine you return home to find that the babysitter felt your first born was not all he or she could be, took a meat cleaver, and …

He provides me with these bloody pieces in a Word file, which I open and read.

I spend a day or two complaining and whining, claim his parents were not married and call into question his sanity. Then, I print it out and begin to work on the first rewrite. Caviling over every change, I fix plot holes and character arcs, break long sentences into shorter ones, rearrange illogical flows, add or remove detail, turn dialogue into prose (or vice versa), AND REMOVE COMMAS.

Back to the editor it goes. Afterall, I enjoyed reassembling my baby so much, I must do it a second time.

Now this could go on without end. Write, edit, rewrite. Some fellow writers fall into this deep, black hole of continual improvement. Some never come out. Some emerge with a child ready to face the world.

Is it maturity and a growing confidence in my story telling that enables me to kick the baby bird from the nest to fly away on its own? Maybe. I certainly hope so.

I also hope you do too. Book 3 goes to the editor’s cutting board on March 16.

Finally, after a year-long struggle, the first draft of Book 3, The Gathering Fails, is complete. At a whopping 107,148 words, it is the longest manuscript to date in The Last Elf series. A full 25% more content than either of its two predecessors, this draft pounded the crap out of me. I have the scars to prove it.

Why so long?

Book 3 not only follows Chork’s journey from Donham to Gooleport, it introduces the Blue Leafs, the band of last-born elves mentioned in The Prophecy – “Now, gather Thirteen, Those Last to be born from Homes Made of Green.” Led by Prince Ellessar and Princess Sabrine, these bold elves have sworn to ensure Chork fulfils Jhodon Rafke’s divination. They are as varied in look and feel, in personality and ability, as the humans after which they are modeled.

Along for the ride are old and new supporting characters. Some good and others evil, these characters play current and future roles in the unfolding story of The Last Elf. Warning: Like me, you may need a colored index card catalog to keep track of them. Or, you can refer to the Glossary on my website.

Don’t forget Jolph Rhince and his plans to conquer the realms of Brehm. His minions, and the turmoil they cause, proliferate, providing a background of impending doom for the ancient and new races on this world of magic and wonder.

So, what’s next?

Uh, a quick rewrite to incorporate the notes made during the manuscript’s composition – “What happened to the keg of Last Born Ale that Albert gave to Chork?” Then …

Rather than make this longer, let’s do this: Check out my next week’s post to learn more about how a book in The Last Elf series materializes.